TS3 Legacy: The Giant Nose Invasion

Hello everyone!  Apologies for disappearing — I was playing classic games like Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon SoulSilver, Pokemon You-Gotta-Problem, and Oregon Trail II.  Also reading copious amounts of TV Tropes.  But I thought hey, I should post an update on Into the Sims, and so here I am (rock you like a hurricane).

For the record, the title was inspired by the terrible film, MST3K’d in all of its finest, The Giant Spider Invasion.  Hopefully, you will not find this post as bad as that movie!

Last time we were here, Gabriel had gone to university and then moved out so Charles and Zo could have a billion kids.  Okay, five.  Eldest Maximilian had already moved out, leaving Winston, Emilia, Sasha, and Penelope as the remaining brood.  The pet situation was out-of-control as usual.  So let’s get to it!

You like that fanciness?!  Now if your computer is old or rebellious, no need to have fifty million photos load at once. 🙂

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So as per usual in TS3, we’re in the middle of a very cold winter, which means tons of want spam from bored Sims.  So I send some of them, like Emilia, out to enjoy the weather.

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Of course, some creatures would much rather piss me off by eating the plants.  Fru Fru just wants to be like Cookie, I guess?

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So Emilia came home eventually and apparently they can play in the sand when it’s snowy…?  Whatever, it was her birthday, so she could do what she wanted.  Including grow into a teen with sparkle pants.

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Here she is, painting while her Imaginary Friend stalks her like the creeps they are.  I’m not a fan of her giant nose, but sadly, that became a defining mark of this generation.  Zo’s looks are extremely dominant, folks.

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While my Mareep is an asshole and constantly hurts himself, I’ll try to explain this photo.  I think it was a snow day, but sometimes the bus comes for my Sims anyway.  Then they get there, and they don’t go to school because duh, snow day!  So they just hang out and compulsively build snowmen and the like.

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If you see a bus do this, call the damn cops.  True story, my parents once watched a bus slide down the road I grew up on in exactly this way in a bad snowstorm.  We lived in the middle of a very steep decline, because my home state is 95% hills.

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Because apparently I believe in Sitcom Land, I like my Sim twins to be best friends.  Sasha and Penelope weren’t, though, so I forced them to work on that.  Aren’t they cute?

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Then it was time to go to the Festival Grounds, where I spotted Max!  Hello, Max!

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Apparently it was Skating Day, because Gabriel was there too!  Looking angry, as always.

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What was he angry about?  I don’t know, maybe skating is a winter wonderland was just too much happy for him.

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So I forced Sasha to skate with him and cheer him up.  That’s what family is for, after all: forcing you to do embarrassing shit in public.

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After a fun day of playing in the snow, the kids come home to bedtime stories.  What a life.

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I guess I decided to stalk Gabriel or something, as I found his lover chatting it up with an alien.

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So remember how a meteor tried to kill Peaches way back when?  It’s still around.  I had Charles take it home.

Also I just stepped in cat vomit with bare feet, so if anyone could come over with a flamethrower and help me cauterize the stump, that’d be great.

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I guess it was a school day, because my Sim kids never get to visit friends unless the game automates it.  Or I think she’s visiting a friend.  Judging by their miniature deer, she MAY be visiting a wildlife sanctuary.

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It turns out there was a tragedy recently in the sanctuary.  This miniature bear is mourning the loss of her terrier friend.

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“We must obey her.  She is one of us, a half-dog, a werewolf, most powerful–”

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While Sasha made friends with the wildlife, Penelope was making friends with a distant cousin, a fairy/human hybrid with strange hair.

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And Emilia was doing important things, namely drinking booze.  What is with the underage drinking in this family?!

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“You know, sis, I hate that garbage disposal.  If I was closer to it, I would smack it with this pillow like this, and then…”

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“She wants us to go in there?”
“Yep.  That’s where foals come from.”
“What?!  I thought they came from microscopic cells fusing together, then implanting in a receptacle organ to grow!”
“Jeez, you’re a dumb broad.  But I bet you’re good in the haystack.”

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“Who’s a good werewolf, huh, Winston?  Huh?!”
“*drool*”

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“That’s right, boy, eat that snow!  Eat it good!”
“Shit, these humanoid creatures are weird.

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So with everyone off from school and work, there’s only one thing to do: gift-giving party!

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Ahem.  I said party, not play with sand in the snow while talking about art to someone doing their homework.

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“So, Gabriel, how do I know you don’t secretly lead all of the crime in this town?”
“Please, do I look like a criminal?  What criminal wears a long neck accessory that you could choke them with?”
“Several.”
“Shit.”

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Forget that, though, it’s gift-giving time!

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“I hope I get a house!  You hear that, Gabe?!  A HOUSE!’

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You known when you get that gift that makes you think “WTF?”  It’s not just something you didn’t want; you have no idea how the person even THOUGHT to give it to you.  So you’re trying to figure out how to react in a polite way, when in reality you want to slam the gift shut, turn to the person, and ask them what were they THINKING?

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Well, sometimes it’s better to not ask.

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Unless you’re Charles.  Then you loudly ask after every gift, “Is it DINNER TIME yet?!”

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“Ugh, I can’t believe that Emilia, stealing my thunder.  Why I oughta–”

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And that’s when the full moon showed up.

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It was dinner time by default after that.  Otherwise the three werewolves may have eaten someone.

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Wait, who brought this cat in?!  She… She has… A TAIL!  HEATHEN LEAVE NOW. (Seriously, she was some guest cat)

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I don’t know about you guys, but it just isn’t Christmas to me unless there are imaginary friends and zombies stalking my backyard.

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The next day, it is time for the twins to grow up once more.  Penelope picks a classy place — front of the creepy gnomes, behind the knocked-over trash.

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Female Charles clone, basically.

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Sasha on the other hand is a Zo clone.  Everything  EA knows about genetics, they know from binary coin tosses.

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With teenhood comes learning to ride the horses.  Penelope is unimpressed.

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Charles was getting weird in his mid-30s.  Giant ears, long hair, and a full beard kind of weird.

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As opposed to Emilia, who was just born weird.
“BOOKS ARE OPPRESSING THE MINORITY!  WHY SHOULD READING BE REQUIRED?!  ESPECIALLY FOR SCHOOL!  DOWN WITH BOOKS!  DOWN WITH SCHOOLS!”

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Some of the children find better things to do, like science.

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Or being born.  Meet Boots!

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Fru Fru was a good choice for genetics — we’re still getting our giraffes, but now with fresh new markings instead of another Chardonnay clone.  This little guy is a throwback to Anita.

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Winston was spending the time growing up in a sketchy parking lot (which alien parked there?!).

You’re going to want to swallow your drink for this one.

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AIEEEEEEEEEE

What the fuck is with Zo’s nose?  Does it just slowly grow bigger in future generations?  I had been considering Winston for heir because of his beautiful green eyes, but, um.

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You there!  What have you cursed this family with?!
“Sexiness.”

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So this means our most-likely heir is Emilia here.  She may have The Nose, but it’s not as bad on her, and she has the lovely eyes and Charles’s hair.

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I mean, sure, she won’t stop hanging out with that weird cousin, but whatever.

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PLease note the graves in the background.  Sasha decided to swim in the goddamn graveyard.  No wonder Selena wanted her to be heir.

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“And I declare that I should be heir, because who wears pink and swims in vampire-fish-filled waters?  This gal.”

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Oh, they have a bird by the way.  Sometimes it flies around the room when Charles and Zo are sleeping.  And presumably craps on the bed.

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Charles is basically the animal lover in the house, by the way.  Most of my Sims ignore the five thousand cats running around or randomly want to sniff their hands, but Charles is friendly enough to actually pick up Elwood here and snuggle him.  Maybe that’s why the wildlife sanctuary liked Sasha so much.

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Meanwhile, outside, a gnomic ritual.

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“Aw, shit, I got out of that program super late!”

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“You can’t catch me, cops, I’m Emilia Whelohff!”

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“I’m such a rebel.  Dad’ll understand.”

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“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING STAYING OUT AT ALL HOURS WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW WHY I COULD BEAT YOU UP RIGHT NOW I’M SO–”

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“WAAAAAH PLEASE DON’T BEAT ME UP”

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“My sister doesn’t know anything about rebelling.  Staying late at meetings, that’s nothing…”

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“THIS HOUSE IS FAR TOO PRETTY FOR ME.”

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“TAKE THAT!”

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“So Daddy, I discovered today that I really like trashing people’s houses.”

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“Hmmmm…. Coast is clear…”

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“MY FAVOURITE CHILD :3”

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“UM EXCUSE ME I CAN’T GET BY MY SON’S EVIL MACHINATIONS”
Charles, I’d just let him sit there and plot in front of Zo’s father, if I were you.

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Penelope’s the boring child — while everyone else is sneaking around and causing trouble, she just skills and does her homework.  And is stalked by Elwood.

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Maybe the ladies really do like the bad boys.

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Meanwhile, I couldn’t find Zo becasue apparently the house ate her too.  I agree, Zo, we need to study this phenomena.

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“It is time, Emilia.  I have come… To destroy you.”
“Not now, Patches, I’m doing my homework.”
“Oh, sorry.  I’m come back later.”

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Meanwhile, outside, our horse butt-rocket launcher was showing good progress with Boots.

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“Ugh, no one appreciates me around here!”

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“DAGGERS ARE A MAJOR DANGER IN TODAY”S SOCIETY!  DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND?!”

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“Hahaha, look at that dope!”

And that note is where we will end!  Will Patches kill Emilia?  Will the family discover Charles’s favouritism?  What the hell are those gnomes doing?!  Tune in next time!

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TS3 Legacy: The Giant Nose Invasion

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