Hello everyone and welcome back to my TS3 Legacy! Last time, Emilia went from SimBot to faerie, and her two children grew up into teens. Lucy, the eldest, has been disqualified from the heirship due to her massive nose, leaving the normal-nosed but also more dull-looking Bruce as heir. But what Bruce lacks in looks, he makes up for in a personality from hell.
You know you want to read now.
Here are the rascals — Bruce is dreaming of nuclear waste, while Lucy dreams of home. That about sums it up.
In addition to the humans, we also have Muchi and Duchess, who will carry on the cat portion of this legacy.
“I just love water, don’t you?”
“I just love blood-sucking insects, don’t you?”
That also about sums them up.
So unsurprisingly, Bruce starts the morning without clothes while eating rotten food.
Not to be outdone, Lucy starts the morning off being lectured.
“I know it was you who put the hair dye in the shower, Lucy!”
“Me?! I’m not the evil one!”
And Pierce was spending it searching for cure elixirs.
“Sorry, sir. With StoryProgression ruling us, people aren’t finding out they are supernatural randomly.”
So of course since it’s still winter, there’s still 100 feet of snow on the ground. And of course my Sims have lost all concept of outdoor wear.
“I have a horse breathing on me. I’m good.”
But at least she has the concept of clothes.
“Shut up! I’m comfortable!”
Boots, it seems, had had enough of sleeping outside in the cold and the snow, and so he just waltzed right into the garage.
Yet despite cramming in there, he could not find a way out.
“Look, I’ll told you what they told me when I called: we can’t press charges against divine beings.”
And the conversation brought them closer together than ever before. And warranted a trip to the ER.
All right, you two, the horses need some attention. Get to grooming and cleaning their hooves!
Bruce had other things on his mind.
“Look at that old loser, so smug with his rich house and fancy cane. He’s awesome!”
“I mean, TAKE THIS YOU OLD GEEZER.”
“Oh yeah, that rocked. That was worth millions. I better brag on Facebook.”
“But officer, I swear, all I did was point and call him names…”
“And you will do that at a decent hour, young man!”
“Oh yeah, this is going to be fun.”
“Okay, Bruce, I’m waiting for your explanation.”
Maybe I should say I was at work.
“I know you weren’t at work, Bruce! What have I told you about pranks?”
“But I just pointed at him, honest!”
So around this time, I noticed the house was getting sudden, unexplained visitors.
Like this guy, cleaning the rodent change. Dude, I know you’re not a maid. I almost never hire maids in TS3.
“Heh heh. I will make the best snowman. Man that nuclear waste was easy to obtain…”
Yumi, that is a very poor location to stand in when you’re near a horse.
“So, who are you and why are you in our home?”
“Who knows? I could be a particularly creepy paparazzi.”
“Well the outfit makes sense then.”
Oh, so I moved the Uglacy family that Candi created for TS3! She’s writing another TS2 Uglacy here, Her TS3 Uglacy is here. And you can read the story that started everything here! (Search for Candi).
Of course, that doesn’t matter in my game. All that matters is someone sank into the ground. Or they adopted a puppy. You never know with my game.
While visions of puppy dogs danced in their heads…
Okay, seriously, who are you people?! Why are you in the house?!
Ah, my favourite time of the Sim year: free gifts.
“Sasha! How nice of you to come!”
“Oh, you know I love your parties and the bathroom.”
“Look, could you at least behave for the party?!”
Bruce’s life is being lectured for doing something.
“Booo, Bruce! YOu suck! Teenage punk!”
“That man is totally talking about you.”
“That Brittany, man…”
“Whatever, I’ll live. So where’s Pierce anyway?”
“You know what I hope I get for the holidays? A DESK.”
“Gosh, Emilia’s husband is so hot, do you think I could have him?”
Blake girl, did that work with Charles? No. Stay away from these men.
“No, wait, I want a HOUSE for the holidays. Yeah that’s right. A whole new house!”
“Dude, if you don’t shut up I swear I’m going to box your ears straight to Strangetown.”
Sebastian, you could get up and pee. Really.
And then apparently the Imaginary Friend was able to get a not-imaginary gift.
Where was Sasha during all of this? Playing her guitar in the bathroom, of course! While Pierce watching rather creepily.
“Ugh, is that lady transforming? How uncivilized.”
Note how Blake and I have barely moved at all during all of this. Hell, I’m not sure my expression changed that often.
While Bruce was having other problems.
“Lay off! It was a water balloon! Indoors!”
But not as many problems as the horses were having.
“Help, Cocoa, we’ve melded together! HELP!”
Maybe I could jump that fence and get out of here…
One of our more confused party guests brought along a birthday cake for the holidays. Whatever works, I suppose.
“Ugggh, Boots, help me with this algebra problem again.”
“I’m telling you, I just take a photo of this food and send it…”
Would you two get the horse out of the dining room?!
That last party aged me pretty badly. Maybe you are supposed to get up and stretch like all of those health gurus say.
The more you look at this picture, the more horrifying and wrong it gets.
“Sir, even horses have boundaries.”
I always forget to use Faerie magic because I don’t know, I suck at playing the Sims. Time to fix that. Emit that aura, Emilia! AAAAAUUUURRRRAAAAA!
Okay, seriously, who the hell are you people?!
You! You are not a family member no matter how fabulous your hat. Get out!
Uh-oh. Those imaginary friends are striking again.
“Don’t you see how much he likes you, Bruce?”
Lucy, meanwhile, rolled some wants on Mixology, so fine, I indulge her. She seems to be taking it a bit too seriously though.
She’s keeping busy, though, which is more than can be said for Bruce here.
“Ugh, these bushes smell like trash!”
Okay, Cocoa, this is getting a bit much.
“Please, mom! Help me!”
“But how can anyone resist my beauty?”
I downloaded these really nice default horse eyes from Mod the Sims! I hate the original horse eyes; they are textureless and every horse ever has lazy eye.
Bruce, would you leave the cow plant alone?!
That’s better. Take care of the horses.
“But the cake looks so good…”
“I don’t get it. You mix different drinks and those are your recipes?”
“That’s it; enough slaving away. This will show them!”
When in doubt, I make my sims take care of the horses.
It can take a few tries…
“HA! In your FACE, Grim SNOWMAN!”
“But I don’t want to groom the horse! I want to wreak havoc!”
You can do so on a horse, trust me. Now get to it.
“Sorry we literally never pay attention to you, Muchi, but here, let me groom you.”
Hell yeah, finally a race! Even though Emilia has no job except racing horses, I am still notoriously bad at getting her down to the tracks.
Really, don’t be fooled if I seem competent at the Sims or anything. Here Pierce gets around to finishing a painting. Why? Who knows.
“Maybe, if I stare through the door, they will let me in.”
“So Bruce, I suppose you can’t help it if you’re a bit rebellious. You are a teen after all. So why don’t you consider everything forgiven.”
“You woke me up for this?”
“Well I need to have some fun.”
“ZZzzzzz, I run this house like a rockstar.”
“Zzzzzzzz, forgot we owned a cat.”
“Excuse me, sir, who are you and why are you in the ghost rocking chair?”
“Ugh, that tree is in my way!”
Bruce, you’re inside. The tree is no where near you.
OKay seriously, would all of you stalkers LEAVE?
“Oh boy, they have a horse!”
Augh, another one?!
So the dog or the Sims occasionally roll the want to go walking somewhere, and I usually ignore it because taking dogs for a walk in TS3 takes roughly five million years. But this time around I figured I’d indulge them, as they only wanted to go maybe two blocks away.
Cocoa, would you get OUT OF THE GARDEN!
Yes, I could lock the gate, but I keep it locked to keep zombies out, because for whatever reason I can’t keep both pets AND zombies out.
In the middle of no where, walking, walking…
“I wonder if I’ll ever see her agai– say, who is that approaching the house?”
“Hello there. Why have you barged into our home?”
One million years later…
Yay I got a piddly amount of aspiration points for walking the dog to the spa.
And you get to celebrate with a little spa time.
Look what I got! A shiny new world with shiny new objects! This house has a billion bathrooms, so I converted this one to a nice spa room.
Okay, so. I legitimately had no idea why all of these strangers kept waltzing into the house, until I saw this guy snoozing in the bed.
Dammit, officer, she was going to head home!
“Ma’am, how dare you spent a night at the spa.”
I assume this is our paparazzi.
Charles! Hopefully the strangers aren’t taking over your rocking chair.
“You suck, Mom! I was just trying to have a nice night out after walking the dog, but then you and the cops had to ruin it!”
Yeah, I’m sure you Sims 3 experts have figured it out.
These random strangers are roommates. I have never requested roommate service, so I figure it must be a glitch and have them dismissed.
“Thank god she bought us this spa. Life was so stressful beforehand.”
And then more roommates spawned. Frantically searching through computers and phones, I finally find what might be causing it…
“You’re forgiven, Lucy, as long as you find a way to get these people to stop invading our home.”
Dear god, Pierce looks less sculpted and more full of tumours. What is going on with his torso?!
“Stupid people. Don’t they know there’s a RoomiesforHire app? I’ll just turn that off…”
So yeah. No, I never turned on the roommate service. I can only assume that I downloaded some mod that turned it on, or my game glitched out, or something. Whatever. No more random strangers in the house!
“Good. It’s hard to keep track of belongings when I’m trying to get my lifetime wish.”
“How are you still alive, mama? Tell me your secrets.”
“Simple, my child…
… I feed the cow plant.”
Yes, the weather went from spring to snow again. I think I deleted a few pictures I didn’t like and so this is the result.
Seriously, does anyone else have murderous imaginary friends? Stop trying to kill my heir!
Speaking of killing heirs…
“Oh, hey mom, nice fire butt. Can you get out of the shower, though, I tried to eat the cake again and I smell like a flytrap.”
See, there you go. Eat the paparazzi.
“Son, I forgive you for… Whatever it is you did. You’re Evil, so I’m sure you did SOMETHING.”
Oh dear. Did we kill the paparazzi?
“God, this house again? Maybe I should use that RoomiesforHire app.”
Meanwhile, across town…
“I smell something. Smells like infidelity.”
Darn, that’s not the paparazzi chick!
“Hello, the bike rack is preventing me from mourning!”
“Oh shut up, Cocoa.”
“Brandon, you two-faced punk! Did you really think I wouldn’t find out about your other girl, huh?!”
“Hello? My daughter is beating up someone down at the cafe? Well she is a werewolf…”
“Please don’t take me, Grim! Look at me! I was just starving for any food…”
“Oh my gosh, did someone die?”
You’re a bit late, Pierce.
“Augh, I can’t take this anymore! We were together ever since prom! How could he do this to me?!”
“Excuse me, Selena, but while you are a foxy grandmother, I’m married with several kids.”
Stalking the family, eh, Selena? 😉
Really? A random lady calls you, so then you WooHoo your wife?
“I have to stake my claim.”
For shame, Pierce.
“Zzzzzz, maybe I should drop her for Selena.”
“Zzzzzz, why the hell didn’t we do this in a bed.”
Jackrabbit, seriously. Presumably you entered through the garage door, so leave using it!
“Why is she making me do this? I don’t need to be fit to be an equestrian.”
“But fitness is such a fun lifestyle!”
“Eat me, Pierce.”
“How dare you eat that mystery individual!”
Pierce loves to scold the cowplant.
“AUGH WHY DID I HAVE CHILDREN.”
“Who’sa sweet little doggie woggie? Is it you, Yumi? Is it you?!”
Seriously, I think the whole family loves Yumi. Maybe they should have had a dog legacy line.
“You wanna chase me, Yumi? Huh? Huh?”
“Pardon me, but I just grew up fabulous.”
And this was the second time you did, because my game crashed. Good ol’ Error Code 12.
“Oh god, I hope no one sees this.”
You’re a bit young for incontinence, Emilia. What were you doing?
“Forget that. I’m leaving this place. Freedom, here I come!”
“Ahh, yes. Freedom, here I come!”
And with Lucy moved out, we finally have enough room in the household for kittens!
Death has not stopped Charles from being popular with the animals.
“So could we plant these properly this time, without blocking shit off?”
“Ha, ha, ha! You’re such a loser boy!”
I have no idea why Zo is so mean to the living Sims.
Just in case you forgot, there is another cat around, pregnant with kittens and dreaming of bugs. Life is rough for her, I tell you.
And by some miracle, Cocoa is still alive and racing! You rock Cocoa!
You may rock a bit too much in fact. Come on, Emilia, shape up!
It’s barely spring and the middle of the night, so naturally this is where I find Pierce.
Meanwhile, we temporarily change households to Lucy, so a certain murderous friend can become…
A real murder friend! Imaginary friends just have fun genetics.
But back to the main household, where Boots is cheating to get to the produce. You have hay, you ass!
So the cow plant glitched up; even though no one has milked it, it still puts the cake out. That or it mutated beyond those limitations.
“Excuse me, but I’m having kittens whose names you don’t remember!”
So you are!
And there they are, the kittens whose names I don’t remember!
Gah, Charles, why are you so adorable.
It’s 4AM. Do you know where your dog is? Of course you do, because she just woke you up.
“Um, this bush is in my way!”
Bruce, what the hell are you even doing? There’s nothing there of interest! You need to use the doors to get in the house!
“Gosh, I’m tired from waking the humans up every five seconds. Time for some sleep.”
Nothing like a cup of energy-tea-whatever to prepare you for your job at a gaming company. Sounds like the Silicon Valley, really.
Aaaaand the foundation is eating the horses. Sigh.
But Bruce has other things on his mind… Like loooooove.
I should know this teen’s name, but of course, I don’t remember.
And for once, my Sim scores a first kiss as a teenager!
But that’s just not enough. Not with WooHooer and StoryProgression active.
Those sultry looks.
“I sense something happening… Something illicit.”
And this is the face he had when I looked back at them.
It’s hard to beat that level of smug satisfication.
The quicksand is spreading. There is no escape, no hope.
God dammit, I forgot to change the lock back to household only from pets. See folks? This is why I just accept a few horse losses. At least I can control the horses.
Meanwhile, at the Ancient Inspirations ballroom… Selena?!
“Oh, hi there Grim.”
“Look, this is ridiculous! I’m an experienced player and know not to do shit like eat the cow plant cake! And I’m an elder! I almost lived through Breeze’s stupid game but noooo.”
“Um, ma’am, can I reap your soul or what.”
And then, on free will, Emilia drank Selena.
Sorry, Selena. You know Sims.
“Ugh, I am so sick of that paparazzi chick! Time to do something about her.”
“Haha, Bruce, I am totally getting photos proving your evil to the world!”
“How can you publish them if you’re dead?”
“Would you rather have some brains?!”
“Tharr wazzz not naiiiiccce!”
“Oh boy, but I just love his mother!”
This girl needs some help.
“Whelohff family, Charles speaking. Dead? So what? Can’t dead people use the phone?”
The phone was ringing because some family friend died or whatever. I generally ignore it… But then Charles here went over and picked it up!
“Somewhere out there, I can find freedom… Somewhere…”
“Hmmm, I know I didn’t cause this. Maybe the culprit is at the cat condo…”
“Oh boy, Duchess, I just love to play!”
“Argh, get OFF of me, you PUNK!”
Did I mention how one of the kittens is a complete asshole? It’s like Muchi’s grumpiness mutated.
Seriously, though. His sibling hated him, and I mean hated, because he was always attacking them.
We were constantly scolding this kitten.
Well, when the bird wasn’t dying, anyway.
“Oh gosh! I’m heartbroken over the loss of a bird that never appeared in the story and was clearly unimportant!”
“Welp, guess now is as good a time to die as any.”
Oh please, Pierce, you don’t even like the horses that much.
“Maybe not, but I do like the dance of death.”
Seriously, horse routing in this game is so buggy.
Okay, ignoring how badly centered this photo is, I just realized it looks like Grim is holding a fishing rod.
“Giddyup, Boots! I’m going catch me a big one!”
You’re a bit late, Emilia. Focus a bit less on the bird next time.
“Arrrgh, I can’t believe you sent me to a poorly-rendered apartment complex!”
Look, Don the Zombie invited you to a party! And I knew your freak out would end before everything finished loading.
Wait, you put dragon meat in the chili?
Sasha apparently brought her baby to the party.
While Lucy was flirting it up… At the graveyard.
“Hey, Emilia, I’ve heard good things about you. Thank you for coming!”
“Don, it’s horrible! My horse AND my bird died!… Are you smelling my brains?”
Poor Don. Hardly knows her and she just collapses.
“Well here you go, baby. This should be a good bed for you.”
But what if our lesbian couple wants some shower WooHoo?
And then there’s poor Selena’s widowed husband.
“Waaaaa I lost my simself! How will I ever go on!”
Okay seriously, was Don’s party just an old lesbians convention? Because man, we missed that memo.
“And I think there should be a retirement house for just lesbians. Enough with the men staring at us!”
Oh, so Whiskers, Selena’s Russian Blue, outlived her. Look what he’s reduced to, Selena. How could you? 😉
“Listen, if you try to kill me one more time, I’m filling this with nuclear waste! I have sources!”
“Heh heh. Now time for some fun…”
This picture provided without comment.
Emilia, don’t you want to interact with the party guests?
“Nope! Just wanna get my groove on. I am a faerie now after all.”
Now who’s this little faerie baby hanging out in a random house?
Well, you know that little one-night stand Bruce got up to?
This is his first of the four kids he needs to have. Lamont or something like that. Teenage pregnancy, gasp!
“But officer, I was just trying to visit my baby.”
“Son, how could you?!”
“Protection is uncomfortable.”
“Not that. You visit your illegitimate spawn during day hours, not in the middle of the night!”
“Look, my son not only got a girl pregnant, but he visited her and the baby right when he was born, in the middle of the night. I’m going to need ten more of these by the end of the night.”
That is not your water, Yumi. Go to bed.
“Oh my gosh, it’s Pierce Whelohff! At Ancient Inspirations!”
This paparazzi has grown old stalking this family. She was the one Bruce turned into a zombie. I wasn’t kidding about that therapy.
Meanwhile, back at the house… Farmer Alien!
“I say, how rude of these people not to answer my knock at 3AM.”
“Gosh, Farmer Alien, it’s horrible. I’ve spent my life watching this family, getting turned into a zombie, passing out in their yard, hoping to get a story for the paper… And nothing! What should I do?”
“You need to get out and work with nature. Nothing pulls away you worries like digging into the rich dark soil…”
“I must guard you, Bruce. There are weird things in this world.”
“I know there must be some way I can break down this door…”
Yes, she stayed all night.
“Ugh, those llamas… All they do is play with those llamas!”
Those are horses, dear.
“Leave me alone, you stupid punk!”
“Aaaaiiiieeee! My butt! My beautiful butt!”
So yeah. The paparazzi spent so much damn time outside in our yard that she spontaneously combusted.
“Please, Emilia, please! Help me! HELP!”
“Bugger off, stalker.”
I wondered if she would burn up and die, but instead she vanished into thin air. Hopefully, she reappears in a mental health clinic.
Okay, that is it. I have replaced that carpet at least three times, my Sims are constantly scolding you, and yet you do not stop!
“Mom, help, mom, I’m choking!”
“In a minute, dear, looking up shelters.”
And so we gave him away. Good riddance.
“It’s your birthday today! Are you excited?”
“Hell yeah I’m excited.”
Too bad my simself isn’t.
Why is she sobbing, you ask? Because the last guy who was eaten has an invisible grave somewhere around there, and while I can’t see it, they know where it is and can mourn over it.
My game has issues.
“Enough of your problems. I take center stage.”
“God, I was really enjoying that incense. Did I have to come in here?”
Dammit, Bruce, would you stop losing your awesome hair?!
And not to be outdone…
Pop goes the cat whose name I really need to look up!
“Shaka bra, nephew!”
“Fuck yeah, shaka bra!”
“I… I really liked your party. I like mourning over things.”
And here is our heir. Next time, I’ll have his personality, generational rolls, and more.
And that’s a wrap! Sorry if the quality was kind of poor; I’ve had a headache all evening, but I just wanted to get something out there. We’re almost caught up to the current generation! Bruce is even still alive! Maybe I can start playing this family again, eh? Until next time… Tschuess.