Hello everyone and welcome back to Silence Serenity! Last time we were here, Andy Centowski got engaged to Christy Stratton, Jacob’s twin aliens grew up, and my simself was pissed off about toilets. Time to see what the rest of the city is up to!
Benjamin Centowski moved into a house a block or so down from the original Baguet household. I’m assuming I made it since it’s square and has a garage full of grass.
“Woodland Gang Member! Welcome to my humble adobe.”
“Hi! My name is Michelle!”
When Benjamin isn’t befriending gang members, he’s busy upstairs learning how to build toys for his future store.
“Why isn’t there any wallpaper?”
Because you can’t afford it. It’s an attic; who cares?
Wait a minute, you guys barely know each other!
“That doesn’t matter in the world of ACR.”
“Ben, I never thought I would meet someone like you! Handsome, charming, lives in a house…”
So when Benjamin isn’t seducing gang members, he’s off to work as a cop to get us some much-needed money.
Or he’s making toys and getting aspiration points for it, like you do.
“I’m telling you, Amin the Stalker, Michelle kisses like you wouldn’t believe…”
“Oh Michelle! You kiss like I wouldn’t believe!”
Nothing like a slow dance to get those relationship points flying!
“Heh heh. That’s right, move slooooowly…”
Nothing like a little voyeurism to get the hearts flying, I suppose.
“Oh Michelle, leave your gang and join me!”
Okay, I have no idea why Benjamin’s ring is red. I don’t recall his aspiration but it definitely wasn’t Romance or Pleasure! What the hell, Benjamin?
Well no time to waste. It’s wedding time!
“I hope this isn’t an omen.”
“So, um, about to get married, anyone want to see… Anyone?”
“Oh Ben, ever since you seduced me on the sidewalk I knew I had found my saviour…”
“Yaaaaawn, what boring vows. I hope Endo and I have better ones.”
Very rude, Kaylene. And Meadow, I see you not clapping back there.
“What in the world are they wearing? What kind of wedding is this?”
And then it’s time for some good ol’ fashioned cake shoving.
“Dammit, did you have to smash some on my forehead?!”
“Yes, hello? I’d like to go on vacation.”
Okay, so I know we can’t send Sims to university, but I didn’t see anything about vacations, which really doesn’t make much sense to me because if university is too far away, wouldn’t a vacation be too? Maybe I missed something in the rules, or maybe I’m just waaaay overthinking this challenge.
Whichever one it is, it’s time for the honeymoon in Vaguely Japanese Asia!
“Hey, you’re pretty cute. Wanna be best friends?”
“You realize I’m on my honeymoon, right?”
“Seriously. Check out this ring. I know you want more than ‘best friends’ and the an swer is hell no.”
“So would I be able to get a massage?”
“Sure, sure, just ignore the brat screaming at the wall.”
“STUPID WALL! YOU SUCK!”
Ahhhh. I never really liked massages since I don’t like people touching me, but my SIms don’t have that problem.
“Sure, you can go on a tour, but don’t you think you should wear something less… Exposed? The wildlife can be a bit much…”
“Man, this is awesome. I can’t believe I waited so long to leave the woodland gangs. Who knew I’d end up eating ramen and getting massages!”
“Sir, I did try to warn you–”
“Gosh, it’s been a wonderful vacation, Benjamin. Even taking you to the ER didn’t ruin it!”
“Yeah, that’s right, I’ve had my fair share of holding hands with ladies. Just look at this bod…”
“I must say, Ben, this place is nothing like on TV. It’s so quiet and serene… It’s almost like we went back in time!”
Every time they go on a tour, I swear…
“What? Can’t a penguin take a vacation?!”
“So why am I doing this?”
I think it’s supposed to be relaxing.
“Personally, I think that’s bullshit. Video games are relaxing!”
“P-Please, sir! I know penguins don’t exist in Vaguely Japanese Asia! J-Just leave me alone!”
“A common misconception, my lady! But since we are only vaguely Japan, do you not agree that anything is possible?”
“Who put bubbles in the sacred fountain! How rude!”
“Oh that’s right, it was me! Mwahahaha!”
“Screw this place. I’m burrowing back to Hilldales!”
“I told you burrowing wouldn’t work.”
“Shut up, Michelle.”
And then back at home…
“Oh my! A baby!”
Wait a minute, you’re not the stork!
“You know, maybe we should have stayed at Vaguely Japanese Asia. At least the Unsavoury Charlatan doesn’t break into your house.”
“Boooo, you suck! Who lets burglars eat their brains anyway!”
“Gosh, what poor form. Are you two fighting or making out?”
“Sorry, he was just too feisty for me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let me frame your face so I know who to kill.”
“God, what a stressful night. I can barely stay awake.”
Quick, distract with a makeover!
“BEN GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW THE BABY IS COMING!
Meet Jessica Centowski.
And onto Jeffrey Centowski.
Jeffrey moved into a lakeside house across the street from the Cable family. His possessions, for now, are meager.
“A chess table, is that too much to ask?!”
“I’m telling you, Jacob is a sexy man. There’s nothing hotter than an elderly man in a track suit.”
“Guess who farted, guys? Guess who? It was the Cox!”
“Why I never!”
“Do you know who I am, punk?!”
Jeffrey, what are you doing?!
“Elderly men in suits are hot too!”
And then we go out on the town and what happens?
“Oh that man is sexy!”
“You know, there’s nothing sexier than a man who runs his own business…”
Except elderly men in track suits!
And that’s when I decided that Jeffrey needed a little adjusting. I usually hate Pleasure Sims, but this guy just seems to be perfect.
Especially considering how he heart farts any male that moves.
“Oh baby, you must be working hard at that Castle…”
Yeah, there is no way I can come up with a caption for this that wouldn’t be raunchy.
“Oooh, you’re so fine, Jeffrey!”
“Oh no, you’re so fine!”
“Have you seen Robi? Adonis, that man. Mmmm.”
“True, but that fine young man who works at the Castle… I’d love to get him in a hot tub.”
“Why hello there, dog who’s destroying my yard! Let’s be friends!”
Don’t think the dog interrupted his mass-dating though.
So Jeffrey made so many “friends” that he got invited out to an Outing. I brought them to the restaurant since inevitably, my Sims roll the want to eat food.
“I’m telling you, Jeffrey kisses like no one else. Except maybe Nery…”
“Oh it’s true. Nery is a hell of a kisser.”
Poor Meadow. Her face says “Why did I go out with these idiots?”
One minor problem with the restaurant is that it’s a bit small for a big outing.
“Hey, that food looks good, can I have some?”
“Bugger off, Nery. And you too, Brandon.”
In between conquests, Jeffrey spends some time studying for his job.
Erm, or I hope that’s what he’s doing in this photo.
“Hey there! +1000 for meeting a new victi– I mean friend!”
“Mmmm, smells like… GAY!”
Rover, you came back! Join me in my rocking home!”
“So what’ll it be, Melissa? Heads or tails?”
“Why did I go to the Castle, again?”
“Augh, Rover! Rover! Get the fire department!”
“Argh, Rover! Do something!”
And thanks to Rover’s bravery, the two lived to see another day.
The same cannot be said for Baxter.
“All right, buddy, you’ve suffered long enough with these weirdos. Let’s get moving.”
“So I told them that factories were unnecessary! All they do is pollute the environment. Jobs, economy? NOT WORTH IT.”
So Baxter is barely dead, but hey, time for more puppies to make Meadow “happy”.
Kaylene, do you really think that will sell for much?
“But it did! Ha!”
“Join me, Andrew, in the happy bunny walk! Hoppity-hoppity–”
“Dad! Dad I did it!”
“Heh heh. Hoppity straight into the pool. Brilliant!”
“And for just $9.99 more, I’ll include a free booklet on how to Hoppity Hop Hop…”
“Phew, daddy smells!”
Meet Winston and Wilma.
“Hmmm, what constellation is that? Is it… Baguette? No, no…”
So just to make matters weirder, when my ghosts appear, they tend to turn their graves so the game thinks that the back of the grave faces forward, and vice versa. Because why not?
Okay, punk, you’re aging way too fast. Elixir to the rescue!
“Yeah! I’m so buff! -500!”
Freakin’ Pleasure Sims.
“Oh… Oh dear. Perhaps I spent too much time talking to my garden.”
“Can you get me, huh, Anita, huh?”
“Jill, please, come out of the wall. Please?”
“Oh, baby, you know you look good in green. Come here and let me show you what I mean…”
“So baseballs… Um, baseballs…”
“… Are not artistic! Yeah, that’s right! They’re dull and boring!”
“Knowledge is so satisfying!”
What kind of Family Sim are you?!
“So why are we just standing here, Kaylene?”
“It’s time. Time for me to grow.”
Oh get out of here Freetime-ish lady.
“So have you seen the videos of me playing tennis, because I really rock it.”
“I’m telling you Max, I get no respect.”
“There I am, trying to run my business, and Jack and Nery just have to go and start arguing right near the line!”
“What’s with this light, Meadow?”
“So I can recharge after WooHoo.”
“Heh heh. And now that they’re out…”
Naturally, no aspiration points for the baby.
“Who cares about babies? My garden needs tending!”
“Who cares indeed? Pots need making!”
And we end this episode with our puppies all grown up — Wilma and Winston. And you know Meadow didn’t get aspiration points for either!
And that’s Month VI! Next time: Endo and Kaylene’s wedding? Me dropping a satellite on Meadow? Amin finally getting arrested? Tune in next time.