Well hello everyone! Long time no write, eh? I could give you excuses for why I haven’t posted since February, but you can summarize them as work, health, and laziness. Especially that last one.
We start the Centowski house, where Julia is perhaps a bit too blasé about inheritance money.
“Meh, death happens.”
Amanda, meanwhile, is getting acquainted with Lily.
“Dat tickles, Wily!”
Bonding with the dogs is great and all, kid, but we need to pee while you’re beautifully irradiated with questionable milk.
Not sure what Christy is doing in this photo. Flexing her boobs?
Could be worse. She could be smustling in the bedroom with a scientist while Andy tries to sleep.
“Yeah, everyone, party!”
“Um, shouldn’t we be quieter, Orlando, Andy is in here–”
“There we are, little lady. Nice and fresh!”
Amanda appears to have some funky cheekbones.
But in the excitement of smustling in bathrooms and changing diapers, the family and I both missed that poor Lily had died after coming home from work! The game didn’t even give me a little focus window! Not going to lie, I felt awful, even if these are just pixels.
“Jeffrey, you really should try some of this soup. It’s so much better than booze.”
The family that slurps together, stays together.
…. Does that sound wrong to anyone else?
“Screw cleaning up the trash five inches from my leg. I’ll let this guy do it for me!”
He has more important things to do, like eating half of Amanda’s face.
I see a hook nose on Amanda if I’m not mistaken. Orlando, what have you done to the genes in this family?!
“I’m just saying, I deserve a little something for my dedication to this family.”
“Mama, you didn’t even make this soup.”
All right, Amanda, step up to the growing plate. Ignore your uncle and his acne; he’s harmless.
“Whoa, my hands are as big as my face!”
And your face appears to have resolved itself since toddlerhood!
All right, Abraham, you next. You can see how thrilled your mother is.
“Augh, he grew up!”
“Yay, finally we can kick you out of the house!”
“WAAAAAAH I NEVER WENT TO COLLLLEEEEEEGEEEE”
Oh shut up and get out of here.
That’s right, buh-bye now.
Man, Julia really is excited to get him out of the house, isn’t she?
As you could see, I gave Amanda a makeover. I think the short hair and glasses really suit her face. She has those sharp cheekbones but they’ve softened a bit.
“Forget about Amanda, I’m giving biiiiiirth!”
“Great, another kid. As if there aren’t enough around.”
Oh shut up, you’re a Family Sim.
“Do I hear Mom screaming… Nah, must be my imagination.”
Does anyone know of magazines that are the size of a kid’s torso? Either that’s a big magazine or Amanda’s a tiny kid.
“Oh great, it’s the house that forgets they have dogs.”
Oh shush, Wilma, these people are related to your original owners.
“That’s even worse.”
So Amanda has great interest in the cooking hobby, which is excellent considering the family she’s in. I normally don’t do much with the magazines but eh, it’s something for her to do.
Oh yeah, we had a baby born at some point, didn’t we. Here Rosemary gets a diaper change and a butt-powdering.
“Oh Andy baby, clearly two babies hasn’t wracked my body enough. Let’s have another!”
Why, they already have a charmer in Amanda, who sits cross-legged in a skirt and tips firetrucks over.
Abraham’s growing up added a nicer outfit to our dresser, so I changed Andy to have something a bit more befitting his figure. And face. And life.
Orlando gets aspiration points for improving his cleaning. Yay Orlando!
And someone actually interacts with the dog! Yay Amanda!
When she isn’t making snowmen. Or judging them, at any rate.
“No no, these coal buttons are not straight!”
Either this is a wet-dry vac or my Sims left something disturbing in the bathroom. Or both.
All right, let’s get this baby grown up.
And looks like we have a clone. Joy.
Orlando, are you okay?
“F-f-f-fine. J-j-just g-g-g-ot b-b-back f-f-f-rom s-s-s-wimm–”
Yeah, better take a bath or shower before that gets worse.
“Grandma doesn’t care if you’re a little clone, does she.”
“Granma, why u cold?”
You probably don’t want to know, Rosemary.
Yeah, well, maybe no WooHooing outside when it’s 2 degrees out, eh?
“So Andy, as you see, the key to playing pool is–”
“Mom, are you okay? You look kind of… Grey.”
“Fine, fine, now listen carefully, this is important!”
“Sorry, ma’am, just doing my job.”
Seriously, that Repo Man looks way too nice. Where’s the evil grin?
“Ew, a dog! I wish I could repo that!”
“God, I wanted more kids, not this dog!”
I swear Wilma is loved.
In addition to being a repo man, the guy is excellent at creating life-like Sim statues.
Orlando, meanwhile, is going a bit senile. That chick has never been here, Orlando.
Or that one.
And there we go. Maxed cleaning!
“Gosh, a random teenager stood in this air!”
“Look into my eyes, Christy… My eyes, Christy, not my wrist.”
Yeah, no clue what’s going on here. Julia is a secret alien, I guess.
She’s a dutiful Sim, though. Teaching toddlers life skills…
Catching up with her children…
Talking to bricks… Yep, overall a great Sim.
“Can you believe I have grandchildren?”
“Grandpapa, I am your grandchild!”
“Who’s a cute wittle clone? Is it you, Rosemary, huh?”
“Daddy, your hands are dirty! EW!”
Cleanbot, get out of the snow. We don’t need it shoveled.
“I feel like there’s a shadow in the mirror…”
“Don’t be silly, dear, it’s just your imagination.”
I’m afraid it wasn’t, Julia.
… Is that a painting of Jeffrey in the back, or is he actually the Reaper?
Ah, nah, it was just Jeffrey stopping by with the Reaper.
“My dad is dying, give me a break!”
Can you get your friend to stop admiring Orlando’s butt?
“Ugh, why is Jeffrey here?”
Not as rude as Jim Carr, though!
“Psh, screw this, I’m outta here.”
Ah, nothing like a Platinum death in your disco exercise room. Fare thee well, Orlando. Thanks for being all-around awesome.
“Orlando used to make great burgers! WAAAAAH!”
Before we leave these guys to their grief, let me show off their beautiful house!
IT’s as blue as the oceans and sky. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a huge open area complete with a fireplace that we never use, seriously.
And with the death of Orlando, it’s time to move on…
To Maxima sobbing.
“How dare you spy on me, you robotic asshole!”
Nery, go back home.
“Oh don’t mind Nery, Maxima. He’s just not quite right since his boy toy kicked the bucket.”
“The fact that you know all of this information at your age is disturbing.”
“Castle of FUN! is great, okay?!”
“A good spinning should cheer me up!”
“Why can’t I get a good spinning?!”
Because I need you to master science, dammit!
“Haha! I don’t have to master anything! I live forever!”
I really feel like neither of those outfits are good for crossing your legs.
The new anti-gravity skirt! Never again will you be embarrassed during bungee-jumping, sphere-spinning, or upside-down torture sessions! Keep your legs and unmentionables safe and covered! Call now.
“Yeah, whatever, I’m just trying to max out my Body skill!”
“Hmm, there must be another skill I can maximize… But how…”
Jacob comes home with Andy, wearing some… Interesting work uniforms. But more importantly, he comes home as a Mad Scientist and thus permaplat! Yay Jason!
“Do I have to?!”
Yes, be a good girl and socialize.
“So are you now going to be injecting transgenes into elephants?”
“Of course not, Julia, where do you– Actually, maybe I should. That’s a great idea!”
“Ugh, what are dad and Andy doing?!”
I suspect I don’t want to know.
The bigger concern is what Jacob and Jeffrey are doing, really.
“You better stop messing with me, boy. I have access to bacteria that you don’t even know exist.”
“I’m not scared of that old dope. Where he has bacteria, I have viruses.”
“Kids, I just don’t understand why your father doesn’t like me.”
“Because you’re an ass?”
“No no, that can’t be it.”
“Hmmm, this horse statue is most fascinating. From this angle, it looks like a dinosaur-dog hybrid standing on its hind legs!”
And that’s when I concluded that Maxima needed a hobby, though some people didn’t appreciate it.
“I wanted to spin and puke!”
Go away, Bon Voyage townie.
“You all forgot I existed, didn’t you?!”
Of course not, Moody!
“Then where are they?!”
In the kitchen criticizing each other’s cooking, apparently.
“This tastes like it was thrown into a charcoal fire.”
“Jacob, as I have no taste buds, I can only assume you are correct and not being curmudgeony.”
“Sure, sure, talk about cooking while I slave away and get nothing but slop. I’ll show them!”
“Punk-ass bitch, you aren’t good enough for this land.”
“Oh you did not just say that to me, curly-haired demon. Do you know who I am?!”
“A worthless shit face, that’s what. Your markings are looked down upon even among your fellow bottom-dwellers.”
“Oh bitch it’s on.”
See, Moody, they were thinking about you! And are apparently psychic.
“Dammit, Moody’s being mean to the wildlife again!”
“Look, I’m just saying, if you want attention, just walk over and roll over. You don’t have to go threatening skunks. What if there’s a skunk mafia?”
Maybe the skunks are the sentries of the woodlang gangs.
I apologize for walls being down here, but well, you can see why, can’t you?
“Komei, Komei, look at this face. Blowfish, right?”
“Blowfish having a stroke, maybe.”
“Old man, you still think you can take me?!” *slap slap slap*
And it got weirder.
“Everyone now, smustle in the bathroom! Um, Komei, what are you doing?”
“And the Hula Girls’ breasts would be about here, and I would huuuuuula closer…”
“You did not just say that to me, whippersnapper!” *slap slap slap*
“Yes, buns of steel, in every sense of the word!”
“Most excellent, robot! I salute you!”
“Look, this shit is getting ridiculous. I’m old, I’d like to relax, can’t you just leave me alone?”
“I should have known.”
“Hell yeah, I showed him. He’s afraid of me!”
He’s probably more afraid of your contortionist dance moves.
“What a good boy, Moody, peeing outside. Have a treat!”
See, told you they pay attention to you.
Well, when this shit isn’t happening.
“Oh my god, oh my god — Julia, how?!”
“I thought a bit of oil would help me pre-roast the peppers! Save me some steps!”
“You didn’t learn anything about forest fires, did you?!”
And on that note, look at their lovely house! Yes, they have a sauna, the snobs. And roofing that isn’t very attractive, but whatever, it works.
Love is in the air at the Cable house.
“Lindsay, please accept this box of shiny depths!”
So I guess they got engaged on their wedding day. Nery, would you shut up?!
“You had me at the Castle of FUN! all day and night! I’m old!”
If you’d sit your ass down, you could be more comfortable!
So I guess Nery went into a wormhole, since I don’t see him in any of the chairs. Lindsay, what is that icon floating above your head?
“Look, I’ve lived in the woods for the past two decades. A little money sounds great!”
I don’t recall inviting you, Grim.
“Well, circle of life and all that. Yes, hello, Rainbow Bridge? I got another one for you. Great, thanks, I’ll send her up.”
“Nooo, not maybe-Allegra, noooooo!”
“Shit, Scout, leave me alone! I’m mourning!”
“So am I! Hug me!”
Everyone was so devestated by the loss that we promptly adopted this nightmare. I think this is Roux?
“Look, your staircase died, it’s time to take it to Furniture Heaven.”
Just kidding. What that photo actually showed was a certain half-alien getting his ass killed.
“So you say you can bring him back for a price? Hmmmm, well, I already have the sweet house and money now, but I guess having a husband would be nice too.”
“Thanks for caring so much about me, baby.”
“Any time, Plasmosis.”
“Oooh, but you smell so good…”
“It’s the fresh scent of heaven, baby.”
And, um, that’s the last photo for the Cable household. They must have had a very boring week beyond Plasmosis being killed by ghosts.
And that’s all for now! Next time: new households? New babies? New deaths? New upload schedule (as if)? Stay tuned.