Guten Morgen, Alles! Time for the second part of Month VIII, which so far has involved a surprising amount of deaths, even for a multi-generation challenge. Will the remaining households do better?
We start at Benjamin’s house, where apparently every child is getting to learn the importance of homework.
“Why hello Mary Ann! Now that you’re grown up, you too can learn the power of homework!”
Mary Ann is a 7/5/9/8/5. Manic pixie girl, basically.
“So you see, Mary Ann, homework prepares you for the real world in ways I’m not sure of because I’m self-employed! With homework, you can go far!”
Remember, kids, doing homework gets you good grades and pleases the authorities! Homework: It’s for Everyone!
“But Daddy, what if I want to be a musician?”
“Silly girl, Jessica. There’s always practice, and that’s basically musical homework!”
“I dunno, Ann. I kind of feel like our parents are being paid by the school to endorse homework.”
“Oh Jessica, you’ve grown since the last photo. All you need is a nice hat…”
Yeah, sorry, apparently I wasn’t taking a lot of photos during this time period, so there are none of Jessica there growing up.
And here’s the picture of Jonathan’s birth. Our guests are thrilled.
“Help, we can’t stalk the baby with the bed in the way!”
And no joke, those are all of the photos for that house. Now where are we here? A giant greenhouse and a tiny cottage next to it?
It’s Lilac’s new home! And one of the first people she meets is Meadow Pederson.
“Why hello there! I was just taking a jog through town. Are you the embodiment of the woodland spirits?”
“Oh I’m the embodiment of something, baby.”
Lines like these are why I shall be a crazy cat lady when I’m old.
ACR: making relationships speed on since 2000-something.
“There must be buried woodland pirate treasure somewhere on this plot… I can sense it.”
I wrote “online” instead of “plot” at first, even though I was thinking “island”. It’s going to be a productive day at work.
“Oh no, the pirates set up a hot water geyser! Help!”
“Oh Lilac, after giving me a home and giving me hot WooHoo, marry me!”
“I knew you’d ask.”
Seriously, Lilac does not look surprised by this.
And we end Lilac’s household week with the fastest wedding ever.
Weirder things are happening at Jeffrey’s place.
Juliet, what are you doing?!
“What? I have needs!”
Seriously, Orlando is barely dead and you go for Amin the creepy stalker?!
“I said I have needs!”
So I had Abraham move in with Jeffrey so I had fewer households to worry about. Abraham has settled in well.
“No touchies, pup, no touchies.”
So I had Jeffrey and Abraham start up a gym so we could open up that Athletic career path. Thing is, it has to be worth $250000, not just placed, and since we can’t even afford wallpaper, we have a long way to go. Sims love the amenities though!
“I shall dance this baby out!”
We need help to get the gym to be a gym. Luckily, Jeffrey earned this guy. I didn’t realize how much freakin’ money it gives you!
“Come on, Jeff, let me have a turn on it.”
“Oh hell no, Abe, I’m platinum and I can get way more from this!”
We still don’t have a lot, though. Nothing like a hot tub to make customers happy, though!
“How do humans manage these dance steps?!”
Through his general creepiness, Jeffrey maxes his Logic. I guess this means he knows the most reasonable ways to creep on someone.
And that means he came home at the top of the Gamer career! Yay Jeffrey!
I just nearly spelled his name Feffrey. Send help.
We managed to get the gym a decent entrance, and then this happens.
“Urp, I feel… Off–”
“The ancestors are calling meeeeeee–!”
And you magically changed your hair colour while you were at it. But yay, a mage!
“Look, Rover, I need to talk to you about your expenses.”
“Look, Maxima, I’m just saying, since it’s my game, the money you earn should really go to me…”
“But am I not the own doing the work?”
“Stupid human, saying I spend too much. I don’t have thumbs! How can I manage to spend more than I produce?!”
I don’t know what Komei said to them, but it apparently impressed absolutely no one.
“How dare you, Komei! Have you no couth?!”
“I will kick you out of my gym if you persist in this nonsense!”
But now it’s onto the original Baguet household, where apparently this is happening.
It looks like a cocoon.
“Wait, why am I here?! I didn’t ask for this family!”
Meet Buffy. She’s thrilled to be here.
“But, Grim, I don’t want to die yet! Can’t I at least wash the chlorine off of me?”
“Sorry, Terry, we’ve a schedule to keep. Besides, death automatically clears the chlorine smell.”
“Really?! That’s incredible!”
“I’m afraid we have to take your torso first, though — there we go.”
RIP, Terry. I really enjoyed playing you and watching your expressions.
“Did my father just die?”
I’m afraid so, buddy. Apparently you grieve by removing your eyes entirely from your face.
And by growing up.
“Did I just wet myself?!”
Realized Terry died?
“These trees remind me of his beautiful face! Waaaaaah!”
“Screw Terry! It’s my turn! What me as I transform into beauty!”
“Yay, look at me, Daddy, I’m gorgeous!”
Oh dear god.
Kathren here is a 1/1/10/7/10. My but those alien genes produce weird personalities.
Andrew, like Jesus, perfected the art of standing, walking, and sitting on water.
“Ewww, I hate pigtails!”
Kid, they frame your face better than the messy cut.
“You know, Grim, I would have really preferred if you didn’t take me while I was still in my weener uniform, but I appreciate the drink and torso ripping all the same.”
Meadow was pretty well-loved by the family, even the dogs that she refused to get aspiration points for. She was pretty annoying, but RIP.
“Time to celebrate death with a vacation!”
Shush, Endo, you’re the nice one.
“So, Kathren, this is how you make the best sand structures ever. Start by massaging the sand to make it trust you…”
“I dunno, my fingers don’t seem right for massages. What do you think, ocean?”
“Would I be able to get the salmon?”
“Of course, sir.”
“Can I get the jello?”
“Who orders jello at a– I mean, of course, ma’am.”
“Look, I’m just saying I should be able to order a sundae and not get that kind of judgment!”
Look, Endo, just because you couldn’t be bothered to change out of your PJs doesn’t mean you should order a toaster pastry.
“What do you have against toaster pastries?”
They aren’t restaurant food! Any restaurant that gives you store-bought toaster pastries is just pathetic!
Later, in a time warp…
“Look, I can order cake for dinner, it’s not the end of the world!”
“But I want the tub!”
“No I want it!”
“Back off, I smell like the sea!”
This looks less like a hula and more like some really weird yoga class. That tourist appears to be doing a version of the tree pose that snaps your own neck.
“Uncle, Uncle, can I please learn how to fire dance, pleeeeeease?”
“So you’re saying my kid could learn for a price?”
“Anything is possible with the right waivers, sir.”
“No, kid, don’t! Don’t you know that will attract the Black Pirate of the Ship!”
“That’s why I’m doing it!”
“And Jeffrey is just so sexy–”
“Gosh, you know Jeffrey? He gets around!”
“Gosh that Jeffrey is just sexy, don’t you think?”
And that incestual heart fart is a clear sign that this month should come to a close. Apologies that it was so haphazard! Again, sometimes when taking these photos (these are two-years-old now) I wasn’t sure if I was going to share the story, so I would just play and have fun and not take snapshots. So that’s why we’re missing chunks of stuff. We’re a little over halfway the photos I’ve taken, which has me excited because it means we’re closer to me being able to actually play this neighborhood again (I don’t like to play if I’m far behind in the storyline). I think we’ll have a lot more pictures next time, so stay tuned and happy Simming!